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Catholic Commentary
True and False Friendship
1Every friend will say, “I also am his friend”; but there is a friend which is only a friend in name.2Isn’t there a grief in it even to death when a companion and friend is turned into an enemy?3O wicked imagination, why were you formed to cover the dry land with deceit?4There is a companion who rejoices in the gladness of a friend, but in time of affliction will be against him.5There is a companion who for the belly’s sake labors with his friend, yet in the face of battle will carry his buckler.6Don’t forget a friend in your soul. Don’t be unmindful of him in your riches.
A friend's true nature is revealed not in prosperity but in your darkest hour—and this grief, when a true friend turns enemy, cuts deeper than any other wound.
Sirach 37:1–6 offers a searching and psychologically acute meditation on the difference between genuine friendship and its counterfeit. Ben Sira warns that the mere label "friend" is easily claimed but rarely fulfilled, especially when adversity arrives. The passage moves from a sorrowful observation about betrayal to a positive exhortation: do not forget a true friend, even in seasons of prosperity.
Verse 1: The hollow claim of friendship Ben Sira opens with a bitter irony: the very universality of the claim "I am your friend" is itself a warning sign. In the ancient Near Eastern world, the word for "friend" (philos in the Greek of the Septuagint; rea or ahab in the Hebrew tradition) carried covenantal weight — it implied loyalty, mutual obligation, and steadfast presence. Yet here the sage observes that this word has been cheapened. A "friend in name only" (onoma monon) is not merely useless; he is a kind of living deception, a counterfeit who occupies the space where genuine love should stand. The verse sets up the entire passage's dialectic between appearance and reality.
Verse 2: The grief of betrayal This verse is one of the most emotionally raw in all of Sirach. Ben Sira does not merely describe betrayal clinically; he measures its gravity: it brings a grief "even to death" (heos thanatou). The phrase echoes the language of mortal sorrow found elsewhere in Scripture (cf. Jonah 4:9; Matthew 26:38), suggesting that the wound of a friend turned enemy strikes at the very core of the person. Aristotle distinguished between friendships of utility, pleasure, and virtue — but only the last could truly be lost, because only the last involved the giving of oneself. Ben Sira agrees: the deeper the true friendship, the more catastrophic its betrayal. This is not mere sentimentality; it is anthropological wisdom about how friendship forms and can unmake the self.
Verse 3: The apostrophe to wicked imagination In a striking rhetorical move, Ben Sira addresses the yetzer ha-ra — the evil inclination — directly. The "wicked imagination" (ponera boulê, "evil counsel" in Greek) is the interior disposition that generates deception. Ben Sira asks, almost with cosmic exasperation, why it was ever permitted to cover "the dry land" with deceit. The phrase "dry land" (xêran) may allude to creation itself (Genesis 1:9–10), suggesting that false friendship is a distortion of the social order God intended for humanity. Some Church Fathers read this apostrophe as a condemnation not merely of interpersonal treachery but of the Adversary's original lie — the deception in Eden that fractured all human bonds.
Verse 4: The fair-weather companion Ben Sira now pivots to a more specific portrait: the companion who rejoices with you in gladness — easy enough — but "in time of affliction will be against him." The word "affliction" (thlipsis) is weighted with meaning throughout the wisdom tradition. True friendship is revealed precisely in affliction; the fair-weather companion is exposed not by his presence in prosperity but by his absence or hostility in hardship. This verse has an almost juridical quality: it is a test of friendship, and the test is suffering.
Catholic tradition brings a distinctive lens to this passage by situating friendship within the theology of caritas — the love poured into human hearts by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). St. Thomas Aquinas, drawing on both Aristotle and Augustine, argued that true friendship (amicitia) requires three things: mutual benevolence, reciprocity, and shared life (communicatio). Sirach's false friends fail on all three counts: their benevolence is selective, their reciprocity collapses under pressure, and their shared life is never more than superficial companionship. Aquinas further taught that charity is itself a form of friendship with God (amicitia ad Deum), established by grace and ordered to eternal life (Summa Theologiae II-II, q. 23, a. 1). This means that authentic human friendship, when rightly ordered, participates in and reflects the divine life itself.
St. Augustine, who lost a beloved friend to death in youth and described the grief as a wound from which he could not escape (Confessions IV.4), would have recognized every line of verse 2. His conclusion — that all human love must be anchored in the love of God to be preserved from devastation — provides the ultimate Catholic response to Sirach's lament. Only friendship rooted in God is immune to the treacheries described here.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (§1829) identifies friendship as one of the fruits of charity, noting that "charity's practice engenders… friendship and communion." The Church also condemns flattery and false counsel — precisely the "wicked imagination" of verse 3 — as violations of truthfulness and fraternal charity (CCC §2480). Pope Francis, in Amoris Laetitia (§123), echoes Ben Sira's warning against fair-weather love, insisting that authentic love "is not irritable and resentful" and does not evaporate in difficulty. The passage thus stands as scriptural bedrock for the Church's entire ethic of fraternal love.
For contemporary Catholics, Sirach 37:1–6 cuts through the cultural inflation of the word "friend." In a social-media age where "friendship" is measured in followers and likes — relationships built entirely in prosperity and performance — Ben Sira's diagnostic is urgent. His test is simple: who is with you in affliction? A Catholic reading of this passage suggests several concrete disciplines. First, audit your friendships honestly: are they covenantal or merely convenient? Second, be the friend Sirach exhorts in verse 6 — actively remember, visit, and invest in true friends precisely when success tempts you toward neglect. Third, bring your friendships to prayer: the surest way to avoid the "wicked imagination" of verse 3 is to place every significant relationship under the light of the Gospel. Finally, the passage invites Catholics to receive the friendship of Christ himself — offered in Eucharist, Confession, and daily prayer — as the model and source of all authentic human friendship. It is Christ's friendship, not social capital, that makes us capable of the loyal love Ben Sira commands.
Verse 5: The companion of mutual interest This verse presents a curious case — a companion who "labors with his friend for the belly's sake," yet "in the face of battle will carry his buckler." Commentators have long debated the meaning: is this a positive or negative portrait? The most coherent reading is that this companion's loyalty is transactional — rooted in shared material interest ("the belly") — yet paradoxically, even this shallow alliance may produce acts of solidarity in extremity. Ben Sira may be making an ironic observation: even a friend motivated by appetite can prove useful in battle, while a false friend who claims deeper bonds proves worthless.
Verse 6: The positive exhortation — remember the true friend Having catalogued counterfeits, Ben Sira ends with a direct command: do not forget your true friend in your soul; do not be unmindful of him in your riches. The pairing of "soul" and "riches" is deliberate. Prosperity is the second great test of friendship (after adversity): the newly wealthy often shed old friends as inconvenient reminders of a former self. Ben Sira insists that friendship is not a circumstantial convenience but a commitment of the soul — the inmost self — that must be actively maintained, especially when external success makes neglect easy.
Typological and Spiritual Senses At the typological level, the entire passage foreshadows and illuminates the friendship of Christ. The Lord who calls his disciples not servants but "friends" (John 15:15) is the anti-type of every false companion Sirach describes. His friendship is not contingent on prosperity or utility; it is sealed in suffering and remains faithful unto death — indeed, through death. The betrayal by Judas (Matthew 26:47–50) enacts in history precisely the grief "unto death" that verse 2 mourns. Every false friendship in human experience becomes a shadow of that cosmic betrayal, and every true friendship becomes a participation in the love of the One who is Friendship itself.