Catholic Commentary
Honor Your Mother
4Remember, my child, that she has seen many dangers for you, when you were in her womb. When she is dead, bury her by me in one grave.
Tobit 4:4 presents Tobit's instruction to his son Tobiah to honor his mother Anna by remembering the dangers she endured during pregnancy and by ensuring she receives proper burial alongside Tobit himself. This command establishes filial duty as the first ethical obligation, grounded in the embodied vulnerability of motherhood rather than abstract sentiment.
Tobit teaches his son that honoring your mother is not gratitude but justice — a debt owed for the specific, unnamed dangers she endured when she carried you into existence.
Catholic tradition illuminates this verse with exceptional richness, particularly through its teaching on the Fourth Commandment and on the dignity of human motherhood.
The Fourth Commandment and Filial Piety. The Catechism of the Catholic Church §2215 specifically invokes the Book of Tobit in its treatment of the Fourth Commandment, noting that filial piety includes gratitude toward those who have given us life. CCC §2214 states: "The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood (cf. Eph 3:14); this is the foundation of the honor owed to parents." Significantly, the Catechism presents this honor not as sentiment but as a moral obligation rooted in justice — a debitum, a debt owed.
The Sanctity of Maternal Suffering. St. John Chrysostom, in his Homilies on Ephesians, meditates on the physical travail of mothers as a participation in creative love that mirrors divine generosity. Pope St. John Paul II, in Mulieris Dignitatem §18, writes that woman's willingness to receive life into her body is an icon of the self-giving love that constitutes the image of God in humanity. Anna's unnamed dangers in the womb become, in this light, a kenotic act — a self-emptying for the sake of another.
Death, Burial, and the Resurrection of the Body. The request for common burial reflects the Catholic doctrine of the resurrection of the body (CCC §997–1001). The Church has consistently taught that the body is not a mere shell but the person in their entirety; to bury the dead is a corporal work of mercy (CCC §2300). The "one grave" anticipates reunion — a sacramental sign pointing toward the resurrection, when what death has separated will be restored.
In an age that often treats motherhood as a lifestyle choice rather than a vocation of heroic self-gift, Tobit 4:4 issues a counter-cultural challenge to every Catholic. The verse insists on active memory — not a vague appreciation but a specific, grateful reckoning with what one's mother actually endured. Contemporary Catholics might ask: Do I know my mother's story? Have I ever asked her what it cost her to bring me into the world and raise me?
For those whose relationship with a mother is painful or complicated, this verse does not demand sentimentality — it demands justice. Honor is owed because of the objective reality of maternal sacrifice, not contingent on a perfect relationship.
The instruction about burial also speaks directly to current Catholic pastoral concerns. In a culture that increasingly treats the body as disposable after death, Tobit's command to bury Anna with dignity and beside her husband is a profound witness to the sanctity of the body and the permanence of marital love. Catholics are reminded that caring for the bodies of deceased parents — choosing burial, praying at gravesides, celebrating anniversary Masses — is not mere sentiment but an act of faith in the resurrection.
Commentary
Literal Sense and Narrative Context
Tobit 4 is structured as a farewell discourse — a literary form well attested in the Hebrew Bible (cf. Genesis 49, Deuteronomy 31–33) — in which a dying patriarch transmits his accumulated wisdom to his heir. Verse 4 falls within the opening movement of this discourse (vv. 3–4), where Tobit's first instruction is not about almsgiving or prayer, but about his wife Anna. This ordering is deliberate and theologically charged: the first obligation Tobit lays upon Tobiah is a filial one.
"Remember, my child, that she has seen many dangers for you, when you were in her womb."
The Greek verb used here (μνημόνευε / mnēmoneue) is an imperative of active, ongoing memory — not a passive recollection but a moral act of sustained attention. Tobit does not say "be grateful" in the abstract; he grounds the command in a specific, embodied reality: the dangers (κίνδυνος) his mother experienced during pregnancy. This is a striking and unusual detail in ancient literature. Tobit acknowledges that pregnancy itself is a form of mortal risk undertaken for the sake of another — that Anna's body was, in the most literal sense, placed in jeopardy for Tobiah's life. The danger may also allude to the family's precarious condition in Nineveh (cf. 1:10–22), where Anna worked as a weaver to sustain the household during Tobit's blindness (2:11–14), meaning that Tobiah's very upbringing was secured at enormous personal cost to her. The phrase "when you were in her womb" roots honor for one's mother not in what she has done for an adult child, but in the sheer fact of having carried him into existence — a debt that predates all conscious relationship.
"When she is dead, bury her by me in one grave."
This instruction has layers of meaning. On the literal level, it is a practical directive concerning burial rites — a matter of grave importance in Jewish piety, where proper burial was a supreme act of hesed (loving-kindness). The injunction to bury Anna beside Tobit is also a declaration about the permanence of the marital bond: they are to remain together even in death. The phrase "one grave" (εἰς τὸ αὐτὸ μνῆμα) echoes the covenantal language of marriage as a union of two becoming one. Tobit does not merely ask for Anna to be given a dignified burial — he asks that their togetherness be honored in the very earth.
Typological and Spiritual Senses
On the typological level, Anna has long been read by patristic and medieval commentators as a figure of the Church or of the Synagogue enduring hardship to bring forth new life. More compellingly, she foreshadows the Virgin Mary, who also "saw many dangers" — spiritual and physical — in bearing the Son of God: the shadow of Herod's sword (Matthew 2:13–16), the prophecy of Simeon's sword (Luke 2:35), and finally Calvary itself. The command to "remember" the maternal sacrifice is thus not only filial but Marian in its resonance: to honor the mother who bore you into life is a participation in a pattern woven into salvation history itself.