Catholic Commentary
Catalogue of Proper Shame: Social, Sexual, and Ethical Conduct
17Be ashamed of sexual immorality before father and mother, of a lie before a prince and a mighty man,18of an offense before a judge and ruler, of iniquity before the congregation and the people, of unjust dealing before a partner and friend,19and of theft in the place where you sojourn. Be ashamed in regard of the truth of God and his covenant, of leaning on your elbow at dinner, of contemptuous behavior in the matter of giving and taking,20of silence before those who greet you, of looking at a woman who is a prostitute,21of turning away your face from a kinsman, of taking away a portion or a gift, of gazing at a woman who has a husband,22of meddling with his maid—and don’t come near her bed, of abusive speech to friends—and after you have given, don’t insult,23of repeating and speaking what you have heard, and of revealing of secrets.24So you will be ashamed of the right things and find favor in the sight of every man.
Sirach 41:17–24 presents a comprehensive catalogue of shameful acts across domestic, civic, and social contexts, arguing that all moral failures ultimately represent violations of God's covenant and truth. The passage concludes that whoever cultivates proper shame before God and others will gain favor and esteem.
Shame, rightly ordered, is not pathology but wisdom—the moral instinct that protects both your integrity and your neighbor's dignity.
Commentary
Sirach 41:17 — Sexual immorality before parents; lying before the powerful. Ben Sira opens with the domestic and the political in tandem. "Be ashamed of sexual immorality before father and mother" — the family is the primary school of virtue; to act sexually shamefully is to betray one's formation at its root. The pairing with lying "before a prince and a mighty man" is pointed: the same internal integrity that governs intimacy governs civic speech. The sage implies that moral disintegration is seamless — the man who is not ashamed of lust before his parents will not be ashamed of deception before a magistrate.
Sirach 41:18 — Offense before a judge; iniquity before the congregation; unjust dealing before a partner. The movement widens from family (v. 17) to judicial authority to the whole community (qahal) and finally to the business partner. "Unjust dealing before a partner and friend" (Hebrew: reʿa) targets the particular betrayal of someone who trusted you in commerce or friendship — a violation of the covenant bond that holds society together. Ben Sira consistently treats economic ethics as inseparable from religious ethics (cf. Sir 26:29–27:3).
Sirach 41:19 — Theft in the place of sojourn; truth of God and his covenant; table manners; contemptuous giving and taking. This verse is theologically pivotal. The phrase "be ashamed in regard of the truth of God and his covenant" suddenly elevates the entire catalogue: all the social shames listed are in some sense specifications of this deeper shame before divine truth. Leaning on one's elbow at dinner and contemptuous behavior in giving and taking may seem minor beside the covenant, but Ben Sira's point is precisely that they are not separable. Liturgical texts of the period describe proper posture at sacred meals; reclining arrogantly at table is a bodily performance of disordered pride. Contemptuous giving — bestowing a gift while scorning the recipient — violates the integrity of generosity itself.
Sirach 41:20 — Silence before those who greet you; gazing at a prostitute. Refusing to return a greeting is named alongside gazing at a prostitute as equally shameful. Both involve a refusal of right relationship — one withholding honor from a neighbor, the other directing disordered desire toward someone whose dignity is already under assault. The sage's inclusion of cold social silence as a moral category is striking: charity is not optional even in small interpersonal exchanges.
Sirach 41:21 — Turning away from a kinsman; depriving a portion or gift; gazing at a married woman. "Turning away your face from a kinsman" echoes the Torah's provision for the goel (kinsman-redeemer) — family solidarity is a covenantal category, not merely sentimental. "Taking away a portion or a gift" likely refers to withholding a rightful inheritance or a promised donation. "Gazing at a woman who has a husband" is the social/external counterpart to the internal adultery condemned in Exodus 20:17 and explicitly by Jesus in Matthew 5:28.
Sirach 41:22 — Meddling with a maid; abusive speech; insulting after giving. "Don't come near her bed" is unusually blunt for sapiential literature, underlining that boundaries are not merely moral but physical and habitual. "After you have given, don't insult" targets the corrosive habit of turning an act of generosity into an occasion for humiliating the recipient — a theme Ben Sira addresses with special force elsewhere (Sir 18:15–17; 20:14–15).
Sirach 41:23 — Repeating and revealing secrets. Gossip and the betrayal of confidences close the catalogue. The one who repeats what they have heard and reveals secrets destroys the social fabric of trust on which all right relationships depend. In the Hebrew wisdom tradition, the tongue is the instrument of either life or death (Prov 18:21), and Ben Sira regards its misuse as a grave moral failing.
Sirach 41:24 — The reward of right shame. The conclusion is elegant: the person who has mastered right shame will find favor before every person. This is not mere social calculation; in the wisdom worldview, human favor reflects divine favor (Prov 3:4), and the moral harmony of such a life is itself the image of God rightly ordered in the human person.
Catholic Commentary
Catholic tradition uniquely illuminates this passage through several converging lenses.
Shame as a Moral Virtue. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that "modesty protects the intimate center of the person" and that it involves "a refusal to unveil what should remain hidden" (CCC §2521–2522). Ben Sira's catalogue suggests something more dynamic: that shame — rightly ordered — is a form of prudential wisdom, not a neurotic inhibition. St. John Paul II's Theology of the Body famously rehabilitates original shame as a "boundary experience" that protects the gift of the person. Ben Sira anticipates this: shame before sexual immorality, before the married woman, before the maidservant is shame in defense of human dignity and the spousal meaning of the body.
The Integrity of the Moral Life. Catholic moral theology, rooted in Thomas Aquinas's treatise on the virtues (Summa Theologiae I-II, qq. 49–67), insists on the unity of the virtues: one cannot be truly just without being chaste, or truly generous without being truthful. Ben Sira's catalogue enacts exactly this principle — sexual, civic, economic, relational, and verbal ethics are listed without hierarchy, forming a seamless whole. The Catechism echoes this in its treatment of the moral conscience: "A well-formed conscience is upright and truthful… it perceives the principles of morality" in all domains of life (CCC §1798).
The Covenant as the Ground of Ethics. The mention of "the truth of God and his covenant" (v. 19) situates the entire catalogue within Israel's covenant theology. For Catholic exegesis, following the Fathers and the Pontifical Biblical Commission's The Jewish People and Their Sacred Scriptures in the Christian Bible (2001), the wisdom literature is never merely secular instruction; it mediates the covenantal relationship. St. Clement of Alexandria (Stromata I) called Ben Sira a book that "trains the soul toward virtue" precisely because virtue is participation in divine wisdom, which is itself the inner law of the covenant. Pope Benedict XVI, in Verbum Domini §48, insists that the wisdom books must be read within "the great arc of salvation history" — and Ben Sira's appeal to the covenant confirms this reading.
Tongue and Trust. Verses 23–24 on gossip and revealed secrets are directly illuminated by the Church's teaching on the Eighth Commandment (CCC §2475–2492). St. Francis de Sales (Introduction to the Devout Life, III.29) gives almost Sirachian instruction on the harm of revealing secrets, calling it a "betrayal of society itself."
For Today
Ben Sira's catalogue reads like a moral examination of conscience designed for daily parish life. Contemporary Catholics navigating digital culture will feel the particular bite of verses 23–24: social media has industrialized the repetition of what one has heard and the revealing of secrets — gossip now operates at scale and with permanence. Before sharing a screenshot, forwarding a rumor, or "exposing" someone online, Ben Sira's challenge is direct: Are you ashamed of this?
The passage also challenges what sociologist Philip Rieff called the "triumph of the therapeutic" — the cultural tendency to reframe shame exclusively as pathology to be eliminated. Ben Sira insists that some shame is right, and that losing it is not liberation but moral impoverishment. For Catholics in confession, this catalogue offers a practical template: Have I dealt unjustly with a partner? Have I withheld a greeting from a neighbor? Have I insulted someone after giving them something? Have I meddled where I should not? These are not abstract theological questions; they are the granular material of the examined life — which is, as Socrates and the saints both taught, the only life worth living.
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